• Dr. Abby Cobey

How do I Build Self-Esteem?

Building self-esteem is actually really easy and really hard. I’ll simplify it.

When you were a kid did you ever have a moment when you thought, “wow, XYZ is pretty amazing! Anyone who can do that is totally badass!”? Go do that thing!

Or maybe there is someone who you really admire, ask yourself what it is that you admire about that person and try to incorporate those strengths into your character.

Make a list of traits you admire, make a list of values, make a list of goals, and then start working on those things. Hopefully it’s both challenging and fun to be the person who you want to be. Be the person you admire.

Here’s the tricky part: after you do it, you might be tempted to say “hmmm, if I can do it, it must not be that hard.” And if someone says to you “wow, you did that thing, you’re amazing!” it can be easy to dismiss the compliment and say it was no big deal.

Those are thought distortions or patterns of thinking that we learned at an early age and no longer serve us. Work on receiving the compliment and patting yourself on the back for goals achieved before moving on to the next thing.


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Suite 207

Alexandria VA 22301

Tel: 703-350-5908

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