• Dr. Abby Cobey

I Have NO Patience

"I have anger management issues, I hate people who say "see" in place of "saw", if I've heard you chew I've plotted your death, I struggle to resist the urge to scream "shut the fuck up" in people's faces who talk for the sake of talking, I have zero patience for anything"

Surprisingly enough, this isn’t an anger problem, at least not in the way you think. It’s actually a self-esteem problem. These are the adult, more subdued signs, of being a bully. Hopefully as adults the feelings aren’t actually acted on.

First question to ask is how do you wish you responded to these minor insults to the English language and absentmindedness with other people’s time? How do you want to feel? Do you want to have patience?

If you want patience with others, we need to start with patience with our lives and ourselves. We need to have patience with our own failures to help us have empathy for others. The anger we sometimes feel is, at least in this type of instance, out of proportion which an indication that it is projected. Do you have insecurities about your own education or cognitive abilities? Do you worry that you sometimes offend people with your manners or maybe even your presence that makes you feel like someone who chews should die. Were you ever made to feel invisible or that you were in the way? Were you ever told that your voice wasn’t worth hearing or made to feel that you talk too much?

We tend to hate in others and be most offended by the things that we dislike about ourselves. So take a deep breath. Or two. These people whom you have no patience for are not deliberately offending you, they were just never made to feel as self conscious as you do. For better and for worse. Take the time to wonder what it would be like to eat with abandon, or talk about nothing, and what might cause you to talk about nothing. Get inside someone else’s mind if you can.

Do some self-care, get some rest, check your values, and hopefully you can enjoy a better attitude and more patience with a bit of empathy.


2312 Mt. Vernon Ave

Suite 207

Alexandria VA 22301

Tel: 703-350-5908

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